A Revved Up Heart

As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth (Job 19:25, NASB).

I was already in a hurry that morning. I’d left a couple of items I needed for the day in the house and had to run back inside to grab them. By the time I hopped in the car for good, I felt totally rushed and afraid I would be late for an appointment. I hate being late. As a result, I quickly shifted my car into drive and immediately pressed the gas pedal to get moving toward my destination. Or, so I thought. As the car engine revved loudly, my heart rate elevated, and I realized I never fully shifted the car into gear. Ugh. I hate when I do that. It doesn’t happen often, but every single time it does, I end up expending a lot of energy (both mine and the car’s) and going absolutely nowhere.

Have you ever felt like that emotionally? Sometimes I get so fired up. It’s like the engine of my heart is being revved up, yet I feel totally stuck. Like it does with my car, it usually happens internally, and then I have to figure out a way to calmly shift myself out of that gear and into one that allows me to safely move forward again. When something feels unfair, especially when it involves me and the people I care about, I quickly find myself dealing with a revved-up heart. It feels as though someone has my emotional gas pedal pressed to the floor, yet I’m stuck in neutral, unable to do anything to move the situation forward.

This happened to me recently when I read something online that felt so personal and extremely unjust. Before I knew it, that familiar feeling of a revving engine was ignited inside me, and a rush of emotions flooded my gut. A friend of mine and I casually refer to it as me being “on E,” or “on edge.” It makes me feel like I want to run through a brick wall, scream, shake something, throw some air punches, or do whatever necessary to release some of the pent up, negative emotional energy I’m feeling in the moment. I hate this feeling. It used to be an emotional state that I would stay stuck in for longer than I’d like to admit. Instead of looking down and shifting myself out of neutral, I would allow the enemy to continue pressing down on my emotional gas pedal and, before I knew it, my gas tank was completely empty without me having moved forward at all. Though I’m not proud of how I have sometimes responded in these situations, I am thankful the Lord has been working to help me better manage my heart.

My friends, let me remind you that our enemy loves nothing more than to do whatever he can to keep us stuck in neutral—a place where our hearts yearn for growth and healing, but we just can’t seem to make any measured forward progress. Just as I did that day with my car, I am learning what it looks like to pause, take a deep breath, and then engage in specific actions to help shift myself out of neutral and into the proper gear. I will often grab my keys and take a drive. Hitting the open road gives me a space to get honest with God about my frustrations and hurts. I’ll text a trusted friend that I’m feeling “on E” knowing that, even if we aren’t able to talk right away, she’ll understand and be able to pray for wisdom and discernment. Spending some time in prayer and asking God to help me hear His voice often provides so much clarity and calm, even if it doesn’t bring understanding. It also helps me tremendously to share with friends who not only know my heart, but more importantly, know Jesus. When I choose this, they provide support in a way that leads me toward Holy Spirit-led action that calms my heart rather than allowing my flesh to flood the engine.

Most recently when this situation occurred, the Lord gave me the grace and strength to respond in a much healthier way than I would have in the past. Instead of remaining emotionally charged and acting upon my flesh, I was able to step back and choose to process in a way that led me to pause, press the brake, and shift gears. After taking a drive, sending a text, talking with God, and processing with a friend, I felt an immediate flood of relief and a return to an idle gear of contentment. Though I was unable to change the situation, responding in that way allowed me to position my heart to be ready to move forward into whatever God has for me. When I don’t, I give the upper hand to the enemy, and that is not how I want to live my life.

When you find yourself feeling frustrated or dealing with a revved-up heart, what does it look like for you to shift gears? If you aren’t sure, maybe take a little time this week to give it some thought. When we are prepared with action steps in response to schemes from the enemy, we are better equipped to protect our hearts in these situations.

These days, when I begin to feel angry, hurt, or rejected over something that seems unjust, I am learning to call to mind what’s written in Job 19:25: As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth. God is my vindicator. Flesh and blood is not my enemy. The battles we face daily, though we experience them in the flesh, are of the spiritual realm as we have a very real enemy that desires to do whatever necessary to keep us from staying on the narrow path of God’s plan for our lives. Instead of living in neutral with a revved-up heart, I am learning to take my concerns to the Lord. When I do, I always find the justice, love, mercy, and grace I need to shift gears, find rest from the attacks of the enemy, and continue to move forward with Jesus.