Do It Afraid, Part II
- The Narrow Path
- May 20, 2022
- 3 min read
Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! (Psalm 116:2, NLT).
Plans changed. Instead of being on my way to Tennessee, I’m currently sitting at a local coffee shop writing this devotional.
The week before the Bible conference, I knew I needed to book a hotel. But, for whatever reason, every time I went to book it, I felt a pause. I remember thinking, “Hmm. Okay, Lord, I’m not sure why, but maybe there’s a reason I haven’t booked a place to stay.”
The following morning I received a text from a friend letting me know she had tested positive for COVID, and was feeling pretty rough. Immediately, I felt a check in my gut regarding whether or not to attend the conference. Do I really want to be around that many people right now? Though I didn’t know the answer immediately, one thing I have learned on my journey with Jesus is when I feel a check in my gut, most often, it’s the Holy Spirit. And when that happens, I need to pause to listen.
Over the last couple of years, as we’ve dealt with the rise and fall of COVID numbers, there has been, and continues to be, a lot of controversy surrounding the pandemic. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s part of life. However, I’ve always tried to make my decisions with others in mind: How will my choice potentially impact others?
Choosing to attend a conference with hundreds, potentially even thousands, of women inside a venue with worship and intimate contact gave me pause. I immediately thought about my family, specifically my Dad, who has some health issues that cause him to be significantly impacted when he gets sick. My plans to be in close contact with them shortly after returning from the conference played a important role in my decision-making.
I didn’t want to make a rash decision, however, and it’s always important to me that I consider the source, pause to pray, talk to a few close friends, and then move forward in faith however I feel the Lord is leading me. This verse from Psalm 116:2 reminds me about the closeness of the Lord and how He leans in to hear my prayers: Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! I am so thankful I can count on this promise.
A day later, I reached out to a former co-worker that I was planning to meet for lunch upon my arrival in Tennessee to let him know that I was leaning toward no longer attending. His response felt like confirmation from the Lord when he said: Yeah, that’s probably a good choice. I actually have been sick lately and just tested positive for COVID, so, unfortunately, hanging out wasn’t going to happen anyway.
My post today is not about COVID or the conference but rather about the importance of leaning into the Holy Spirit and opening ourselves up to how the Lord speaks to us. As I think back over the events of the last several weeks, I am so grateful for how the Holy Spirit lead me through making some difficult decisions.
Do I feel like my decision to sign up was wrong? No, absolutely not. Do I feel like my decision not to attend was wrong? No, absolutely not. Do I feel like listening to the the Lord is the lesson here? Yes, absolutely.
As I reflect on the moments after initially signing up for the conference, I realize the sense of peace I felt was not about whether or not I would attend the conference. Rather, my peace is a result of my decision to step out in obedience, even though I felt a little afraid.
I want to encourage you today, that while we may be called to do things afraid, we must also remember the truth shared in Psalm 116. Though our prayers aren’t always answered in the way we might expect, we serve a God who sees us, loves us, and bends down to hear our requests. If this experience has taught me anything, it is that my responsibility as a follower of Jesus is to be obedient and to leave the rest up to Him. He surely is a good, good Father.
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