In the Waiting

Meet my friend, Hannah Allston Brooks.

She is a single mom to one beautifully wild teenage daughter. God miraculously provided so they can homeschool and enjoy adventures together. They were joined in adoption, knit together in adversity, and delivered to journey together in search of healing. 

She works as Executive Director for a local nonprofit, and stands in awe of the ways God uses the position to provide opportunities to serve. She has a beautiful community, and God has never failed to provide. He gave them a safe place to rest, put food on their table, and filled their lives with joy and a peace that made no sense given their circumstances. As they wander out of the wilderness, they are humbled to share His grace and point others to the Redeemer. 

Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me (Genesis 32:26, NIV).

What is your heart longing for? What promise have you heard God whisper to your heart that you don’t yet see evidence of? What hope deferred has made your heart sick?

For me, it’s healing. I long for healing from the trauma that colored my childhood and wrecked my decision-making. I crave healing from an abusive marriage that nearly broke me and robbed me of my identity. My heart longs for health to be restored to my bones.

I have seen miracles. I have received abundant grace, protection, and provision. I have heard the Lord whisper promises to me that bring tears to my eyes. I carry promises in my heart that I cannot speak aloud for fear the hoping might crush me. Yet, I know God is moving. I see evidence all around me of His hand on my life.

What do we do when we find ourselves in the tension of waiting? How do we reconcile the evidence of God and the absence of our promise fulfilled?

In Genesis 32:22-31 we read an account of Jacob wrestling with God.

The passage begins with Jacob alone in the dark. Isn’t that often where our own wrestling begins? Jacob’s family had gone on ahead. Have you ever felt left behind, isolated, and robbed of your usual comforts? Have you ever experienced the darkness that hides your way forward? It’s in those dark moments that we encounter God. It’s often our first instinct to wrestle with Him when we do. We feel we must protect ourselves, and so we fight.

As the light of day begins to break, something beautiful happens as Jacob shifts from wrestling to holding. Take a moment to imagine this scene in your mind… Jacob is alone in the dark wrestling an unseen foe. He is so intent on winning the fight that he continues even when he is injured and in pain. As Jacob wrestles through the pain, light begins to reveal new truth to him. Light reveals to him he is fighting his Savior. He is fighting against his Deliverer.

As light and truth begin to dawn, Jacob shifts his energy from fighting to holding. As he recognizes he has been fighting his only hope, he begins to cling to that hope. He holds fast, refusing to let go until he receives his blessing. Is it time for you to stop wrestling your Redeemer and begin holding on to Him? Is today the day you cling to Him and determine not to let go until you receive His blessing?

God responds by giving Jacob a new name, Israel. Jacob’s blessing was a new identity. Before this encounter, Jacob was a deceiver. In trying to make his own way in the world, he had taken what did not belong to him. When he stopped wrestling and began holding, Jacob became Israel. Israel means soldier of God.

Let that soak in for a moment, friend.

Jacob became a soldier when he learned to hold fast to God. Jacob began to see God’s purpose for his life fulfilled when he learned to hold fast to God.

I believe it’s okay for us to wrestle with God. Better to wrestle as Job did than to run as Jonah did! I believe it’s in wrestling that relationships are built, that truth is discovered, and that a new identity can be found.

My greatest mistakes were born of me trying to make a promise happen – of my own will, in my own understanding, and in impatience and immaturity. I faced many a storm that was born of

disobedience because I did not know how to wrestle with God. I did not know how to take my insecurity, fear, anger, hurt, questions, and doubt to God.

I encourage you today to wrestle. Wrestle until the darkness changes to light. Wrestle until your wrestling becomes holding. Then hold on and refuse to let go until you receive your new name. Hold on until your identity is changed to reflect the purpose God placed on your life.

God always knew Jacob would become Israel. God always intended to fulfill the promises He had for Jacob. Jacob never needed to deceive or scheme or fight to secure his blessing.

God always knew you would arrive at this day. God always knew He would fulfill the promises He has for you. You never needed to make it happen in your own strength. Rest in that truth as you hold fast to your Redeemer.

#christ #thenarrowpath #faith #hope #jesus #healing