Look Up

But whoever loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3 (NIV)

A friend called me the other day. She was frustrated, angry, and needed a place to safely share. We’ve all been there. Be it frustration, anger, or any other number of emotions that can often grip our hearts in toxic ways, we all need space to share. I am betting you can immediately recall a time, maybe even recently, where your heart has been tethered to an unhealthy emotion that you just can’t seem to free yourself from. It is exhausting.

On that particular day, my friend was angry. We spent the better part of twenty minutes hashing things out, so to speak. I knew she needed to share what was on her mind and heart in a place where she would be met with a non-judgmental attitude, understanding, grace, and love. I have been on the receiving end of those kinds of phone calls more times than I can count. Releasing emotion is necessary, and even more so, I believe it’s a critical part of the healing process when we’re attempting to free ourselves and walk away from a particular emotion that is holding us tightly.

As we were talking, I found myself thinking about how important it is that we allow ourselves to pick up whatever emotion we’re struggling with and take a long, hard look at what it is we’re feeling and why. I really believe that if we don’t face it, we can’t name it, and if we can’t name it, we won’t be able to lay it down and move forward. That’s the part I often forget—I must pick it up in order to hand it over to God. That might seem silly, but stick with me as I unpack this a bit more.

I often convince myself that I shouldn’t feel a certain way—lonely, hurt, rejected, frustrated, etc. I’ve struggled for a long time with believing that having and accepting those feelings somehow made me ungrateful of how good the Lord has been to me. It has only been in the last couple of years that I have begun to understand that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can definitely be both, and often at the very same time. Recognizing this truth has helped me tremendously in terms of dispelling lies from the enemy and freeing myself from the prison of keeping my emotions locked down. But we can’t stop there. Yes, we must recognize and acknowledge our emotions, process them with the Lord and trusted friends, but then be prepared to hand them over to Jesus and move forward.

Think of those negative emotions like a coin on the ground. Shiny and attention-grabbing, we stop to take a look at what we’ve found. We pick it up, analyze it, and then we have two choices: do we put it in our pocket and carry it with us or do we choose to put it back down and then wash ourselves clean of the dirt that was transferred to our hands when we chose to pick it up? Now, if we’re talking specifically about money, many of us may choose to place the coin in our pocket and continue on our way. However, when it’s negative emotions that we are choosing to pick up, oh how quickly our hearts become dirty and our pockets heavy with burden.

If you’re like me, it’s easy to get stuck. While talking with my friend recently, I expressed that I often find myself circling a particular emotion, to the point where I’m unable to process what God is doing in, through, and around me. And, without even recognizing it, I’m often stuck in a place that keeps me from moving forward into what God has for me. It’s as though I’ve seen and am continuing to circle the coin, rather than stooping to pick it up and make a decision regarding what to do with it moving forward. She responded with a resounding “yes!” as she expressed agreement in feeling this way at times as well. Maybe you have, too.

We are, by His design, emotional beings who have been given hearts that allow us to experience and express ourselves in ways that set us apart from some of God’s other creation. Our emotions help us connect, move us to make difficult decisions, and, among other things, they inspire us to help others. But, as with anything else, what the Lord intends for good, the enemy will always utilize to try and lead us down the wrong path.

Anger turns to bitterness. Loneliness turns to depression. Frustration leads to resentment. Emotions can quickly become a dangerous tool for the enemy when we aren’t able to recognize the ways they can begin to poison our hearts. That is why I am so thankful for the example of Jesus. His example was highlighted during this most recent conversation with my friend. We were discussing how easy it is to fall into a pattern of circling a particular emotion and the importance of having people in our lives who are willing to stoop down into our mess, help us shift our focus, and lead us back onto the right path.

This friend is a mom of adult children and, in that moment, she recounted a story from when her boys were young, and one of them was lashing out in anger at his brother. I listened as she described herself getting down on the floor with her son, eye to eye, and saying to him, “Look at me. Look at mommy’s eyes. I know you’re upset and angry right now, but throwing things at your brother is not how we deal with our feelings.” As I was listening, I noticed she did several things: she lowered herself to his level, acknowledged his emotions, and then she enforced the discipline. She didn’t ignore his behavior and deem it permissible, but she also extended unconditional love and grace to him in a moment of struggle. That’s what the love of a parent for their child looks like. And all the parents said, Amen!

In that moment of hearing her story, I was reminded of Jesus’ actions in John 8:8, where it is written, “Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.” From that verse alone, I am sure many of you know the story to which this verse is alluding. This is a biblical story of a woman caught in the act of adultery and facing condemnation from her accusers, when, in an act of love and compassion, Jesus stooped to join this woman in the dirt. If you continue reading in John 8, you see that Jesus does not condone her behavior, but He extends her undeserved grace and love in a moment of sin. I am so thankful He does the very same thing for you and me.

Just like the woman in the story, we are all broken sinners in need of the saving grace of Jesus. Don’t ever let yourself believe you aren’t allowed to address and analyze your feelings. It’s an important part of healing and growing in the Lord. But, just as important, remember to surround yourself with people in your life who will model Jesus and kneel down in the dirty mess with you. They’ll listen while you process, but they will always pull you out of the pit and point you back to Jesus.

Every single day, we’re going to find those coins on the ground. They will fight for our attention and attempt to keep us stuck in a web of repeated behavior patterns. We can choose to continue circling the negative emotions and allow our hearts to be gripped in a way that is keeping us from what God has planned for our future. Or we can choose not to ignore the coin, but to pick it up, process as needed, then take it to Jesus and allow Him to wash us clean. I encourage you to choose the latter. When we take our broken hearts to Jesus, He will always meet us where we are and say, “Look up, child!” as He reminds us that we are fully known and fully loved.