Rustling and Wrestling

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life (John 10:10, NLT).

The Parent Trap, the Lindsay Lohan version, of course, is one of my all-time favorite movies. There are so many scenes that immediately come to mind, and I can recite many of them word for word. One particular part of the film depicts a phone conversation between the twins. After spending a few minutes chatting, Annie was not having any of the bad news her twin sister, Hallie, was sharing with her. In an attempt to dodge the conversation completely, Annie found an old candy wrapper in the pocket of a coat and began rustling it back and forth in order to create the illusion there was a bad connection, thus ending the conversation altogether. The rustling was just enough to interrupt the conversation and interfere with the clarity of their communication. Even though we’ve experienced significant advances in technology, we’ve all been part of phone calls where a poor signal has led to confusion and frustration between parties.

Let’s take that one step further and apply this concept to our spiritual lives. I believe this “interruption” happens more often than we realize, especially when we’re in dialogue with other followers of Jesus, and more importantly, the Lord himself. The more frequently we engage in this type of conversation, the harder the enemy works to introduce lies—in the form of a quiet rustling—as a way to interrupt a message the Lord is sending. I have seen that play out in my life so many times, and if you stop and think about it, I’m sure you have, too.

One evening last week, I experienced a series of small events that I was able to eventually recognize as an attempt from the enemy to throw me off course. Small, insignificant little details occurring in the window of several hours left me feeling frustrated and a little anxious, and reaching for some sort of answer as to why I was feeling the way I was. Here’s how the evening played out.

I decided to cook supper and, because of a few distractions, nothing turned out the way I planned. I let the pasta cook too long, the burger was a bit charred, and forgetting to preheat the oven left me with uncooked potatoes when the rest of the meal was ready to be eaten.

I watched a video, shared on Facebook, which stirred up a lot of thoughts about the current state of our world amidst the coronavirus pandemic. Five minutes later, I stumbled across another source refuting the validity of the original video, thus creating an atmosphere of chaos and confusion in my mind.

A bit later, I saw a post shared on social media from a friend that left me feeling a little sad about the way we are all so disconnected right now.

I ran the dishwasher only to realize the clogged sink problem I thought I had remedied was still an issue.

So much fun, right? None of the examples I just described are earth-shattering or devastating, but added together, it was enough to leave me feeling frustrated. We’ve all experienced bad days before, but this felt different. I was edgy, somewhat anxious, and I began to hear whispers of lies in my ear. You are a failure. You can’t do anything right. You are not qualified. This was the static, the bad connection on the phone line, the rustling of a candy wrapper. The enemy was stringing together this chain of annoying events and utilizing them to create a disruption in my communication with the Lord. In prior days, I had been taking important steps forward on my journey, specifically in regard to The Narrow Path. And, as my counselor always reminded me, the enemy does not like it when we are gaining ground against him. He will always try to push back in order to keep us from moving onward into the purpose God has for our lives. The string of events, combined with an already vulnerable heart on a day that I’d spent inside and alone, provided a perfect setup for the enemy to attack.

I am thankful I have learned how to detect when this type of thing is coming on. So, instead of sitting at home in isolation, cradling those negative thoughts, I threw on my shoes, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door. It was early evening, and there was still enough sunlight left to spend some time shooting hoops at the court near my house. Being outside, especially when it’s on the basketball court, is always a great place for me to clear my head. Thirty or so minutes later, the sun was going down and the weather had turned a bit chilly, so I headed home, feeling better, but still a bit unsettled.

Over the last several years, as I’ve spent time in counseling, prayer, and seeking truth from God’s Word, I have begun to do a better job of recognizing when I’m experiencing some sort of internal struggle. What I figured out that evening is that recognition doesn’t always equate to resolution. I can recognize a spiritual attack, but if I do not generate an appropriate counterattack, I am left retreating. Through personal experience and learning to accept the unique way I have been wired by God, I know that I often experience restoration of peace by connecting with people that I trust and who know my heart well.

Realizing I felt under attack from the enemy, I had to make a choice: 1) keep quiet, allow the rustling of the enemy to get closer and louder and fight the battle in isolation; or 2) reach out to a trusted friend, express my need, and prepare my heart to receive love from the Lord in a safe space. I was stuck, wrestling with which way to go when my phone rang, and I found myself on the line with that trusted friend to whom I had been considering reaching out. “Thank you, Lord,” I thought to myself, “another gift.” Because this friend knows me well, she immediately detected that something was “off” in my voice. After a brief conversation, I found myself en route to her house, where we spent some time unpacking the sequence of events in an attempt to better comprehend the tactics the enemy had deployed that evening.

As I divulged what was on my heart, the processing allowed me to finally put words to my struggle. Over the past couple of months, I have been intentionally focused on listening for direction from the Lord and then acting in obedience. Submission to the promptings of the Holy Spirit often requires us to step out of our comfort zone, into a new and unknown place, and trust the Lord to guide us. Genesis 15 talks about Abraham’s obedience, and specifically in verse 6 it states, “And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.” I love that. I want my life to represent that kind of faith, too. But, just as it did for Abraham, it requires me to go when the Lord calls, even if I find myself feeling unqualified.

As the end of the day approached, and our discussion drew to a close, I was able to better recognize the scheme of the enemy. Because my connection with the Lord has grown deeper and stronger over the last few months, the enemy introduced static in the form of attempting to make me believe I am not qualified to go where the Lord is calling. This unpacking was absolutely critical. Through vulnerability and honest conversation with a trusted friend, the Lord helped me uncover and identify the lies and restore clarity to my communication with Him.

Through this situation, I was reminded of what it says in John 10:10, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life (NLT).” The enemy had approached; his nagging voice was like a rustling candy wrapper. It was never overwhelming, but just loud enough to lead me to a place of wrestling as I attempted to distinguish lies from the truth. It is the truth from 2 Corinthians 3:5 that restores my connection with the Lord as I am reminded, “It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God (NLT).”

How does the Lord help you recognize the rustling sound of the enemy approaching? What does it look like for you to reach out and restore your connection with the Lord? Give it some thought. If you’re like me, you sometimes forget the truth that God has an amazing purpose and plan for each one of our lives. One ploy of the enemy will always be to try and introduce static, but if we choose to trust the Lord and cling to His promises, we can step into our destiny with confidence and go wherever He is leading.